trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize