i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
