she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize