Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize