he told me I talked like a deaf person
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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