you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
