sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
is wine microwaveable?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
