Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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