i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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