She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
