I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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