what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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