soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
