she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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