okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
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