if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
