Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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