your room smells of hookers.
And success
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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