He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
