Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
