so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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