I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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