honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
