You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You ate ashes out of my bong
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