If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
