I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
