id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Even my vagina gasped.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
