Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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