think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
