you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
