You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
handjob tips. give me some.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
