we're chasing vodka with high fives
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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