You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Thank you for not boning my boss.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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