my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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