dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
