k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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