that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize