So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
