Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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