careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
