she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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