Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
