I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
