Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
