she was so not down for the gang bang
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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