Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize