covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
