She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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