I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize