just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize