I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
