I wish I only lived at night.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
