Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Randomize
