I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize