it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Boobs are out for the taking
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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