ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize