i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize