I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
