Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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