I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
